Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize