I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
