Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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