p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize