He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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