Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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