I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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