I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
