And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
