Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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