She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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