Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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