College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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