The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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