no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
