could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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