I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
