And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
