I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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