I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize