We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize