so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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