Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
