I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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