I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize