i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She's just so happy...and so naked.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
