He disabled his match.com account in front of me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
