Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
