Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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