Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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