I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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