how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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