i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
