id be glad to
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
