I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
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How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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