I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
