I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.