I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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