the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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