one two three fourrrrnication!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
