I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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