Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
