i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult