I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
