Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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