She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
