All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
