My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
