He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
