Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
