just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
