this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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