I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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