Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
