she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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