i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
