it wasn't lemon gatorade
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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