I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
