I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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