everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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