If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
