I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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