I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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