We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
