I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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